Thursday, January 27, 2011

Rainy Days of Portland

For the most part this blog has been about celebrating the sunshine and rainbows that we have found in and around Portland.  (And by sunshine and rainbows, I mean beer and wine!)  But there are times of rain here too - not like downpours with crashing thunder and exploding lightning - but droplets here and there.  And the reality of any life, any marriage and any person is that before the rainbow some rain must fall.

So, our rain lately has been about how to juggle two career-minded individuals' schedules, ambitions, dreams and a sum of student loan debt that looks more like the mortgage attached to a McMansion.  We keep trucking along remembering to check-in with each other, ensuring it's not raining harder in one person's world than the others.  And at times like these it's nice to draw upon previous rainbows and soak up the sunshine as it continues to appear!

This is only part of the table from this evening and I took the photo so I could remember the moment because in the background Dido was singing "...And I want to thank you for giving me the best days of my life!" 
Great night with family and good friends!
 
A lot of sunshine in this one!

And when all else fails....
What do your rainy days looks like and how do you ensure sunshine is around the corner?

Monday, January 10, 2011

26.


I am 26 now.  My husband claims that at times those numbers might be inverted and in fact I have tendencies better associated with someone who is 62!  As in, I woke up on a "day-off" recently and worked the entire morning and part of the afternoon away and proudly proclaimed  "this morning has been just a bear!"  I still swear I didn't use that term but he insists.

Or after shopping at Dicks Sporting Goods one evening and coming home empty-handed, because the running jacket that I had wanted was not in my size, I decided to look online.  And for those of you wondering, their website is http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/.  Not a shorter, more (or less) obvious version of that URL that insists an out-cry of; "OH MY GOODNESS!" 

And so sometimes I'm 62 and sometimes I'm still 21 - although this birthday landed me in no bushes, on no stages and falling down no hills (AM I growing up??) - and sometimes I think I am as wide-eyed as a 6 year old and as naive as a 2 year old so I borrow words from Christina as to what my "26" looks like! 


"I am timid and
I am oversensitive
I am a lioness
I am tired and defensive


You take me in your arms
And I fall into you
I have insecurities
You show me I am beautiful

My best "lioness" photo.  I think Shay may be more lioness here though, protecting the crowd (cubs?) from my dancing?
Love me or leave me
Just take it or leave it
It's not that I'm needy
Just need you to see me


 Take me, free me, see through to the core of me
Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

I am temperamental and
I have imperfections and
I am emotional
I am unpredictable
I am naked

Best 'naked looking photo' I could find.  This might also go under the category of 'acting 21!'
I am vulnerable
I am a woman
I am opening up to you


Love me or leave me
Just take it or leave it
It's not that I'm needy
Just need you to see me

Why?  Because this looks like a damn good Birthday morning to me.  'Andy coffee' and Sour Patch Kids.
Take me, free me, see through to the core of me
Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

Now I stand before you with my heart in my hands
I'm asking you to take me just the way that I am
Please lay down your arms, do you know me?
Make me feel safe from harm


Take me, free me, see through to the core of me
Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

A 'wine-eyed' birthday girl complete with Birthday Sticker.... Thanks, Auds!

 I am temperamental and
I have imperfections and
I am emotional
There'll be no more pretending"

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Momentum.

Ok, I can't claim this post as my own.  I have to give props to Kelle Hampton because I initially set out to discuss how I wanted the status quo for 2011.  I wanted my life to keep building on what 2010 gave me, I wanted all that I have and if nothing could change then that's ok.  But, her words changed that.

She reminded me that I became more this year- and her words sure made me smaller.  But, I did become a wife (must officially change my name this year!).  I became my own family.  And as long and as hard as I have thought about what I want for 2011, what I really want is the status quo. But, at that same time I can't be scared of what is to come in 2011.

On the day of our wedding, I promised Andy a 'good enough marriage.' Because I had read that in psychiatry, the term 'good-enough parent' describes one who loves their child well enough for him to grow into an emotionally healthy adult. The goal is mental health, defined as the fortitude and flexibility to live one's own life in pursuit of constant growth - not happiness.

My thought was that if we could build a 'good enough marriage' - one that allows us to keep growing and affords us the strength and bravery required to face the world - the happiness would surely follow.

So, in 2011 I hope to continue the growth that exists in our marriage and our life today.

May we all have more...

Love.

Family.
Laughter
Friends!

Emotion.
Adventure.

And a few more things that I have no words for.


Ok, there's just one.  But, it's a good reminder for me to not be scared to build on the momentum established in 2010 while welcoming the ups and downs that will come our way.  So, here's to our "good enough" life!

CHEERS!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...