Tuesday, November 26, 2013

James Franco and Other Awesome Pregnancy Items.

I can't remember the last time I've seen a movie starring (or even including) James Franco.  I'm certain I probably have seen one in my lifetime, but I typically fall asleep during movies so whatever movie it was, I can assure you that it was not overly memorable.

Fast forward to last week when I woke up to find half of a banana on my nightstand.  I was confused at first before I remembered getting up in the middle of the night, wandering to the kitchen, and eating the other half of that banana.  Why you ask?  Because in my vivid dream, James Franco was breaking into our house to steal all of our food.  Being the good mother-to-be that I am, I decided that I needed to get Baby W nutrients before the inevitable James Franco attack.

In short, I had no idea what I was getting myself into while determined to get pregnant!  No idea what pregnancy would do to me.

And, similarly, I had no idea what I was getting into in sharing my last post.  Thank you all for visiting the blog, commenting on Facebook, sending text messages, sending private messages, calling, writing, thinking of us or leaving the post without a second thought.  I am a marketing director so I understand, to some extent, the power of social media.  But, it's easy to get caught up in the annoyances of these new mediums of connection.  It was such a great reminder that these tools are here so we can share and document our stories.

Baby's first 5K - 13 Weeks.
I ran the post by Andy before I hit the fear-inducing "publish" button as he is the logic to my emotional tendencies.  At some point he asked why I was posting, and I explained that I truly felt the desire to help someone who was feeling the same confusion that I often felt.  And, words help me so I hoped that they would do the same for someone else.

I've previously explained that I never felt becoming a mother was a an absolute must for me.  Did I hope to start a family?  Yes.  But, I knew I would find my way if that was not an option.  This is in contrast to many other people who are struggling to start their family, I know.  But, I also know that each person's unique feelings during the process are just that, unique.  And, we all deserve to feel that we're not alone.  So, thank you for reading and make this a community for just that - even for just a day or two!

And, here are a few additional photos of the past 17+ weeks.  Excuse the background messes and occasional weird faces.  I have been exhausted and pukey!

Monday, November 18, 2013

Positive

I've struggled for months to figure out the right way to make this announcement on my blog.  Something super cute didn't seem to encompass all that I wanted to say.  I've thought a lot about sneaking it into another post (ie my recent Instagram announcement), but in the end I decided that the truth always resonates with people best.

So, here is a little bit about a chapter of our story that I have, until now, not shared on this blog.

We tried for 22 months. Enough time to have had ~2.44 babies.  But, who’s counting? 

Ok, we were.  We were counting the days, the tears and the stress.  We were counting friends’ babies, baby showers attended and thrown, and a whole lot of tests – blood tests, hormone tests, ovulation tests and tested patience along the way.  What we weren’t counting on was, after a long drive and fun weekend, finally seeing a positive test!
 

We had gone to St. Louis for the weekend to catch up with family and friends, and to otherwise getaway!  We were no longer carrying around anxiety toward my expected period because we had a plan.  We would be starting an IVF cycle as soon as I got my period (this post was actually in anticipation of that!) and we had already purchased the prescriptions necessary to get going.  We were filled with nervous excitement. 

I grabbed a pregnancy test at the grocery store on our way home.  I had never bought a box with only one test in it before, but I was certain that I was not pregnant, and one test is all I would need to report that back to the clinic.  I was craving fajitas and forced Andy into helping me prepare them for dinner.  And, because I needed to use the restroom, I thought I’d go ahead and give the test a try.  It quickly became clear that the faint positive sign may be indicating that our life was changing.

But, I didn’t believe that little plus sign, and decided to head back to the store to grab a fool-proof digital test (and a 20 oz. bottle of water!).  There, in our dining room, we sat with the test between the two of us as it thought through our future.  A few turns of an hourglass icon later, the word PREGNANT appeared.  There were no tears or wild signs of excitement.  We simply stared and smiled at our luck – once again learning that you can plan all you want, but life could care less about those plans.

The weekend after we found out.  Mom feels anxious.  Dad feels weird.
In short, Baby Wendling will be making his / her debut in the Spring of 2014! 

You can read a little more about our journey on a few posts that I have migrated over from a previously private blog.  These posts are extremely personal and include details about a uterus, ovaries and sperm... so, reader beware!  If want a starting place, you can read a letter to our lil peanut about our journey toward parenthood here.

Finally, this last note is to anyone out there who is struggling to start their family.  First of all, I apologize for not sharing our story earlier.  So many times I thought hard about it, but ultimately felt that it was too personal to share while I was in it.  Please know that while your journey is 100% unique to you, I understand that the choices are scary and expensive, and it all can feel overwhelming.  For me, it helped to focus on all that I was blessed to have in my life rather than focusing on something that seemed out of reach.  And, it was extremely important to me to continue to welcome my family and friends' news with a joyous heart.  Ultimately, you have to follow your own heart to know what's right for you and your family.  But, should you need a listening ear, I promise to not tell you that you all need to do is relax!!  

Cheers!
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