Month one
was followed by many more months of unprotected intercourse. I say it that way because I always hated the
idea of “trying.” I had this notion that
trying was for the couples who were desperate
to have a child. We weren’t. We were living in Florida for a year
following a year in Oregon. We were
traveling the country, gaining experiences with each other and building
careers. But, I was smart enough to know
that it would be convenient to experience the early stages of pregnancy while
we were living away from home-base, and I was working from home. In my perfectly-plotted plan, I would be
able to “toss my cooks” in my very own toilet while growing ears, lips and
little lungs!
As the
months wore on, the worrier that lives inside my brain began to grow. I
experienced more periods that were heavy and abnormally uncomfortable so I
decided to call my doctor. We had been
at this for around nine months, and while I wasn’t overly concerned about the
time, I began to be concerned about my cycle and the increasing severity of it. I also wanted someone to tell me that it was
okay. That everything was normal – the
periods, the time period and the emotions that were just starting to pop-up
around the whole ordeal. Unfortunately,
that’s not what I got.
I withstood
them taking my blood to check my hormone levels (I hate needles! But, more on that later!), an ultrasound and
a very uncomfortable internal ultrasound.
The internal ultrasound lasted a long time. I had never had one done before so I didn’t
know how abnormal this was. I also
didn’t know that ultrasound techs typically prod around gently (rather than
violently) while talking to you about the weather, your job or the holidays
(rather than where the heck your left ovary is!). I later got a copy of the
report from this ultrasound and the tech described it as “very difficult!”
This
is the
part where I have to stop and tell you a little about myself. I am an
achiever by nature. I literally have one of those corporate signs
that sits above my desk so people can easily identify my strengths.
Second on the list is “achiever!” This means that I set goals for
myself, for
organizations, and I go after them.
Relentlessly. This means that
when something is described as “very difficult,” I want to conquer it!
This isn't a particularly favorable strength
when it comes to fertility.
The
ultrasound seemed discouraging, and my instincts were confirmed when I got a
call from the doctor’s office. They
indicated my estrogen was extremely low, and that they’d
like to have me go in for an MRI to rule out any “masses” that may be pushing
my organs to the one side. All the
sudden this seemed like it could be a much larger issue than infertility.
I
experienced the whole scary MRI process complete with multiple pokes at
various parts of my body in an effort to insert an IV, tears and an
uncomfortable joke made
by a nurse about my inability to be a drug-addict due to my fear of
needles and
apparent bad veins. (Mental note: Add drug addict to the long-list of
things I
am not good at that also includes; making babies, internal ultrasounds
and
dealing with needles!) I waited a few
anxious days for the results of the MRI and was only somewhat relieved
when I
got a call explaining that there were no masses in my abdomen.
I say
somewhat relieved because both the questions that I started with, remained – why
are my periods abnormal, and is this somehow linked to issues with
fertility? I was however given a drug
that could help with my heavy periods which I never took. Because I would be moving to a new state
soon, I was able to pick up my file including all the reports from the MRI,
etc. so that I would be able to share it with a new doctor in my new
state. I’m happy I did this as the reports
offered more insight into potential issues – mainly mentions of fibroids,
etc.
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