Tuesday, July 19, 2016

How Do I Quit You?

Come August, I will have been either pregnant or breastfeeding for three years straight. There was a brief sabbatical – about six weeks – between when I finished nursing Nora and got pregnant with Weston. But, for the better part of three years I have shared my body with my littles. Honestly, I’m tired, and ready to have my body back. Yet, I just can’t quit!

Breastfeeding feels so personal. What’s right for any given mom may range from never breastfeeding all the way to breastfeeding their child for years. I fall somewhere in the middle. Nora made the decision as to when to quit for us. She refused to nurse when she was around six months old. I pumped for another six weeks or so and called it good. Weston, has been a different story entirely.


For much of the first six months of his life, he outright refused formula (he projectile vomited it up!). As a mom who works full-time outside the home, it was challenging to keep up with his eating while building a reserve for the few work trips that were inevitable! During that time I would have given anything to just quit. Now that things have settled down a bit, I’m struggling!

I knew when I got pregnant with Weston that one of the things that can be deemed both a pro and con of having littles so close together is that each phase comes and goes in the blink of an eye. Within a three year stretch, my life growing babies will have started and ended. It's seeing this phase of my life conclude, not saying good-bye to that god-forsaken black bag, that’s got me struggling a bit.

 

Did you nurse? Did you struggle when it was time to quit?

 

A version of this post previously appeared on St. Luke's Birth Care Center.

Friday, July 15, 2016

Embracing Chaos

We had “one of those nights” recently that seem all too common these days. Both kids were restless which meant their bedroom doors were revolving as Andy and I entered and exited to comfort and rock. It was a week day so the restless night turned into a busy morning, and before I knew it we were walking down the hallway of daycare thirty minutes late.

Nora seemed to be walking slower than normal. I turned to check on her just in time to see her throw up all over the floor. I quickly scooped her up to once again comfort her when round two came – on my head! We turned right around and headed home just in time for me to change my clothes, pull my puke-covered hair into a ponytail and call into a video meeting from my laptop.

After the puking episode. Is it just me or does she look a little proud?
Just another day at the Wendlings!

I’ve been quiet over here on this blog for some time. I keep thinking if my kids start sleeping consistently, work slows down or everyone stays healthy, I’ll give the blog a makeover and get back to it. But, kids don’t sleep, work doesn’t slow, and health is relative. So, now’s as good a time as ever.

It’s taken me over nine months to get to this place, but I think I’m finally embracing the chaos. I grossly underestimated how hard having two littles so close together would be. But, this is our life today. It's crazy and beautiful and will soon enough be nothing but a cloud of hazy memories. And, while I can’t always laugh in the moment or embrace my puke-covered head, I can document it! So, I’m back and committing to make this a place for love, laughter, honesty and embracing the chaos.

Cheers!
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