Saturday, August 6, 2016

Mom Olympics

With the Olympic Games kicking off this week, it got me thinking about the idea of a “Mom Olympics.” We all deserve a medal for merely getting through the days. Some days are certainly worth a gold while others barely deserve a bronze! But, there are some events that would be entertaining to see play out in an Olympic format. I’ve outlined a few of these events below!

Event #1: The Diaper Sprint
You know this one, get one diaper off while simultaneously adjusting the new one so your little darling doesn’t have a chance to relieve him or herself all over!

Event #2: The Bedroom Sneak
This one is no joke in our house! How can babies sleep in their stroller while planes are overhead and yet wake up to the slightest door creak? You deserve a medal every time you slither out of the room without the baby alarm sounding!

Event #3: Toddler Translating
I’m positive that my toddler often sounds like this to the average person… “Fadiblyabentruepeese?!” to which I always know she is requesting to go on a family adventure…please! Toddler translating at its best!

Event #4: Simultaneous Napping
Want to know how I’m able to find the time to type these words right now? Simultaneous naps! They don’t happen often. They are so rare when they do occur I sometimes get overly excited, and can’t decide what to do with my time. Then, the next thing I know, someone is awake again and all I did was get lost in the Facebook abyss. Seize your 20 minutes, mamas!

Event #5: Pumping and ­­­_____
Insert every awkward place you’ve ever pumped in the above blank and give yourself a medal. Breastfeeding is hard and is made even more difficult when you have to find time to pump in between all the other Mom Olympic Events!

Event #6: Wine Dance
A glass of wine at the end of the day is often the reward for completing so many monumental events. The real challenge is determining how many glasses is too many glasses to remain productive the following day!

Event #7: The Family Photo Session
I like a good candid photo that shows "real life." But, for two seconds can real life not include the baby barfing on himself while his sister plugs his nose? When you capture all members of the family looking at the camera, it's time to reward yourself!

Worthy of at least a bronze, yes?

What events have I missed? And, what event would you medal in? Admittedly, I might have the wine dance down! 

A version of this post previously at Today Parents.

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