Thursday, November 10, 2016

Let's Love!

Leave it to my afternoon tea to be the beacon of light I’ve needed for the past twenty four hours.

I’m still absorbing, grieving and feeling. But, yesterday changed me. 

In the words of Mrs. Obama; “it has shaken me to my core in a way I could not have predicted.” I feel those words profoundly today. I could not have predicted the emotional reaction I have had to this election. 

What this has taught me more than anything else is that I need to listen more deeply to people who think differently than I.

A friend shared a graph yesterday showing the rise in things like student loan debt and healthcare. He made a comment that this is what lead to a Trump victory. It’s an interesting illustration. I absorbed the information and really thought about what people must be feeling. I can relate. I have student debt coming out my ears. My family's financial progress is certainly slowed due to this.

I'm trying to listen. To really understand what hope friends and family see in Mr. Trump. And, I believe my friend to be right. The pain Americans are feeling must cut deep to long for such aggressive change.

I also believe this election transcends policies.

I've heard, “this is not about 'how do we explain this to our children'?” I disagree with that statement. I was consumed by that thought yesterday. Feelings and thoughts are real even if they aren’t shared by all. If we’re listening to each other we can’t disregard the fact that many of us are feeling this way.

My children are too young to explain any of this to. Still, I can’t help but reflect on the message we sent to the next generation yesterday. I fear we told them, in the face of adversity, it’s OK to bully each other. To lash out. To cloak racism and misogyny in political incorrectness. We elected the type of man that I want my daughter to stay the hell away from. We embraced fear and hate. I believe that is scarier than any difference of opinion regarding policies.

I also believe we all have a role in this. Regardless of our vote. I, for one, did not listen enough before yesterday.

I heard Glennon Doyle Melton say recently we can do one of three things; we can get angry, we can go silent or we can create. I believe we need to create more love. And love often looks like listening. Like caring. Like seeing the human behind the opinions. 

We have more than wounds to heal. We have hearts to change. We have to find our way back to seeing each other as human beings. 

I was a hesitant supporter of Mrs. Clinton. But, I sent her an email yesterday. I don’t know if she’ll read it. I truly hope she does. I thought about her in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t think about the candidate. I thought about the flawed human. I thought about how strong she was while standing beside a bully calling her names. For that, and so much more, I wanted to hug her. Plain and simple.

Let's love, people! It's the best we can do.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
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Tuesday, November 1, 2016

My Biggest Struggle as a Mom

My house is a disaster as I sit here and type this. I don’t mean a little messy, I mean I see a banana caked to the floor right below my feet. In addition to the banana, there is a stack of bills that need some attention and work that I missed on Friday afternoon when I was unexpectedly called to daycare to pick up a little man with a fever. In short, there’s always something that needs my attention.

You know who cares about none of these things? Two little people. And this is my biggest struggle as a mom. How do I embrace all the clich├ęs – it goes by too fast, enjoy every moment, they’re only little once, the dishes can wait, etc. – while maintaining my status as a productive member of society?!

I’ve noticed my best, most enjoyable days as a mom are the days when I lower my expectations. I forget about the banana, bills and work, and surrender to the little people who care about none of that. We play at their whim and go on epic family adventures. But I wake up the next day, and all of those items continue to pile up.

What’s the right balance between getting things done and getting in quality time with our littles?


I’m asking because I don’t know. But, I’ve found that routine helps. That fitting in picking the house up after the kids go to bed helps. And, choosing a task a day spreads the workload. Ultimately, there’s no perfect solution but we keep getting better.

What’s your top struggle and how do you find time to get it all done?

A version of this post previously appeared on St. Luke's Birth Care Center
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