Tuesday, September 29, 2015

To my girl...

Dear Nora James,
Tears overwhelm me as I write this. You see, you’re going to get a baby brother soon. Within weeks, for sure, and days, if your mama is lucky! This means I'm very emotional - and that your whole world is going to change. I swear it will change for the better in the long run, but in the short-term, it’s going to be confusing. You’re going to wonder why I can’t pick you up every time you mutter the syllables “up-pees.” You’re not going to understand why I’m not as quick to jump out of bed and wish you a good morning or why your dad is doing the “night, night” routine with you more often.

Believe me when I tell you that I’ve gulped in every look at your cute, chubby face the last few weeks. I have given you more kisses on those squishy cheeks than you or I could possible count. I have savored all the moments that have been just the three of us. From you spilling milk all over the table to you pulling off a somersault with your dad in the middle of the living room floor. I’ve done this because I know as soon as your brother gets here, you’re no longer going to look like the baby I remember. You’re going to look like a big girl, and we’ll then be treasuring our party of four.

And, like most things, I’ll be feeling all of your emotions with you. I’ll be excited, don’t get me wrong, but I’ll be confused too. We’ll find our way – much as we’ve done for the past 17 months.

What I know for sure is; above the sweater I received one year from American Eagle (that I desperately wanted), and far above those True Religion jeans I got on a separate year, the greatest gift my parents ever gave me is my siblings. And, I’m excited to give you a comrade to play with, commiserate with, and, ultimately, probably complain about me with!

From confusion, little lady, we’ll get to a new normal. And, I promise, we’ll do it together!

Love you!

Thursday, September 24, 2015

A Letter to the Little Man

Dear Baby Boy,
You’re so close to officially joining our family and we are anxiously awaiting your arrival. Your dad and I are curious about what you will look like, what your personality will be and if your sister will ever let you wear clothes (as she refuses to let her “baby brother doll” do). And, you, I’m sure have your own plans… to keep up the kicking and punching outside of the womb, to sleep soundly through the night at 1 week old (right?) and, ultimately, make our family complete.

But, let me tell you what a ride we’ve already been on.

You chose to make your presence known when we barely had this whole parenting thing down, and during the most challenging phase of my career, so far. And, buddy, I was scared! But you knew what you were doing all along. The thing I’ve learned about parenting is that you little people teach us bigger people far more than we could ever teach you.

I believe you came to us to make our family complete, yes, but also to reinforce the importance of balance. You’ve put in long hours with me – and kicked the computer off my belly multiple times! You’ve been a constant reminder that while work and ambition is admirable, there is plenty more to life than the success we may find at the office. You have forced me to pause. You have required true prioritization of my time and energy. And, you’ve helped me laugh and shrug when things aren’t in accordance to my plans. 

So, little buddy, thank you. Thanks for showing up when I didn’t know I needed you. Thanks for being ours! I promise that the chaos we will welcome you into, is a good chaos. And, I swear we will try our very best to teach your sister what “gentle” means.

You and me, buddy!

Your flawed mama
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