Having It "All"

“No woman can have it all, and by using all as the standard of success, we are only condemning ourselves and our daughters to failure.”  - Debra Spar, “Why Women Should Stop Trying to Be Perfect”

I like this quote from an article that I recently re-read after being at this whole parent thing for half a year.  It’s a wise summary of what I've been feeling recently.

The other day, I excused myself from an all-day meeting being held at a local country club.  I lugged my trusty “black bag” to the restroom and set-up a now familiar scene.  I unpacked hoses and funnels and replaced batteries before exhaustively pumping.  I checked my handy “tot-report” while standing in the stall to better understand how No-Nap-Nora’s day was going.  I researched six-month baby schedules while simultaneously trying to read countless emails that I was already behind on answering.  Meanwhile, I heard someone in the restroom with me.  I honestly paid her no attention until she made the comment, “Is someone in there making liquid gold?!”

And, I cried.  The kind woman asked how old my baby is to which I proudly replied, “six months!”  She answered my exclamation with a kind you’re doing a great job!  

I never laid eyes on the woman. I wish I could have hugged her thanked her before I let myself succumb to my emotion.  

Here's what I know about motherhood so far. I have surrounded myself with a great “village.”  I read angry blog posts that are forwarded and re-posted all over the place about judging moms - working moms, stay-at-home moms, fun moms, boring moms, moms who love their cell-phones and moms who hate everything.  All of that judgement that has been discussed, it's been the minority of my experience.  More often, I’ve received ongoing support.  A kind look, a friendly nod or overt encouragement.  I’ve received this from stay-at-home moms, working moms, part-time working moms, and ladies who lunch at country clubs.

The person who has judged me?  Myself.  I am far too guilty of chasing the “all.”  So, that's my pledge for these next few months of parenting - to strive not for perfection, but for a stability that is sustainable.  I'll give-in to the dropped balls hitting the ground, and enjoy it.  For myself.  And, for No-Nap-Nora!