Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Planning for Suprises

I’m a planner at heart. Sure, I appreciate spontaneity, but I prefer to plan to be spontaneous. When we found out I was pregnant with Nora, it was surprising, yes, but we had been planning to have her for years.  I had no idea we would get pregnant at the exact time we were planning to begin IVF, but pregnancy was obviously in our plans.

Further, I struggled with pregnancy. The planner in me just wouldn’t be quiet. How could I plan for the potential risks that existed within my pregnancy?  And having my ideal pregnancy, labor and delivery? Well, if I’m being honest, I definitely didn’t understand that might be our outcome. Thankfully, it was. Thankfully, we have a healthy little girl. 

But, I needed time after that nine months of uncertainty to adjust – to adjust to the uncertainty that exists within being a parent. To come to a better understanding that life is good great, and sometimes when you plan for the worst and hope for the best, it really does happen.

So, what am I trying to say exactly?  Well, I had planned to come to terms with the idea that Nora may be it for us. That one little girl, full of light, might be the extent of our family. We had hoped to give her a sibling, but, we honestly didn’t know if it would happen. And, frankly, I was leery of pushing our luck. 

Well, while I was making my plans, someone or something was laughing – insistent on teaching me a lesson about planning and over-thinking everything.  I forgot that when they say your fertility is 50%, ultimately, it’s a crapshoot.  And, while half the time it’s impossible to get pregnant, the other half the time, everything works perfectly.

In short, Nora is excited to become a big sister in the fall of 2015.

I could say that I have no idea how this happened.  But, truthfully, I didn’t skip that day in sex-ed.  So, theoretically I know how this happened.  But, how could we be so lucky to experience a true surprise with this little one?  I’m not sure.

Here’s to relinquishing control.  To two under two! {gulp!} To my family of four! {smile}

Cheers, everyone!

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